working out sucks

oh. so i guess to be sexy like him i’ll have to eat just that? okay, contemplating. i bet it will suck

and working out fucking sucks


a glass case of emotion

today is one of those days when i cry so much i forgot what actually made me upset in the first place

so i hung out with suzzie and ila, with intentions of going to the gym at 4pm. girl talk, and suzzie talks most of the time about her line of gentlemen and i proceed to get super depressed

ALSO, I SAW HAFIZ as in “bigfuck” hafiz and was smiling to myself so much it annoyed suzzie. but the moment of hapiness was short lived as i then thought about all those years waiting. its sad you know

and then suzzie got a haircut- the hairstylist was super funny- and after that we hung out under some block near my place and she continued talking about her past/current love interest. i was suicidal by the time she finished

looking at where my friends are in the bgr sense really hits me. im not up to par with them. its like theyre all amost at the top of the mountain and im still at the bottom, looking up but refusing to proceed because im afraid of failure, you get what im saying?

i dont like to be different. and out of all people, i think only julie understands this part

i always feel like this every one day of the month. and it gets me really upset

another thing that upsets me are the guys/ assholes i allow myself to be associated with. he acts so flawlessly that even i, someone who scans people thoroughly before getting my walls down, fall for his little charade. it sucks you know, when you genuinely believe that, hey, you know what? this one doesnt seem so bad, he seems nice and level headed. maybe it’ll be better than the previous asshat and then you start building faith on his words and then after all the times you let him in slowly he just shuts you off like he’s on cable or something. it hurts a great big ass deal

i dated you for the sex but since we’re not on the same page then i guess we have nothing in common

so you date me, you make me feel that im worth something, and then you tell me you did it for the sex/ kicks

i have a high level of control over my feelings. i can keep everything locked up in a bottle and just inhale and exhale. but eventually i get tired and i break. eventually whatever sadness, whatever anger i feel manifests into some mental illness and i become stoic again. untill i fall for another asshole that will toy with my feelings and it becomes a cycle

wow. can you see how messed up i am?

when you feel neglected all of your life, you wont ask questions when someone who appears ‘perfect’ comes around- even if the chances of you getting burnt is high

people need to remind me that this is all a game

people need to remind me that this is all a game


i get so angry so easily nowadays. especially these days. and its getting annoying, even for me

its like the littlest things just set me off like some hellfire and i get mad and stay mad forever. its not healthy

i hate entrepreneurship because the teacher sucks, mystery solved

hey mods. im not going to rant

relax, relax, shut the hell up

im going to rave. rave about how i hate entrepreneurship and angie (the teacher). so if youre a fan of hers than, leave. oh you know what? fuck it, stay. stay and read on about how and why i despise the whole thing

first of all, her definition of “teaching is to come to class 30 minutes late, smiling to a bunch of 18 year olds who bothered to turn up for class for attendance sake, and then proceeding to set up her laptop and then say something like

continue with your group discussion, feel free to ask me if you have any questions

and then she goes to sit her fat ass down at the swirly chair the hell to play poker (i assume)

and she expects everyone to produce assignments of standards way beyond our capability.

how in hell do you think we are going to produce ace results when your smelly as is permanently glued to your swirly chair the frig?!

she also tries (and fails hard) to guilt trip us whenever she has the chance by saying how “hard she tried to provide for our class and how “devastated and unfair it is that shes trying to do her upmost best and we all are just plain not interested and how no one pays attention

newsflash princess, no one will ever give you their 100% attention. no one cares, bitch

also if she does get attention, it will be for the wrong reasons. like how she smells like a cat that got ran over by a truck, crawled into a hobos ass and died there. or how she looks like she has never seen a comb or heck, even used it before, and how her face permanently screams ” look at me y’all! i just got out of bed and i decided not to take a shower! like erryday! yay me!”

she keeps giving us this ugly ass postcards that look like some intellectually challenged children made with the paint software on windows to sell and make profit. it is also graded for our finals

what is up with that? high pressure selling way whut? (youre reading this in miley cyruss voice)

even i wont even buy that shit even if it is for charity. if im in a good mood ill just give money and like not taking the postcard. and we are suppose to make profit

she now wants us to do some proposal the hell for FedEx and it is a competition. and compulsory. i already have a marketing mock test today, 4th June, and the marketing exam (6 chaptered theory based) on wednesday, 9th June, and research process to do for entrepreneurship and marketing project 2 to do due by the first week of next term

also next saturday, im heading to malaysia with sharon and julie for some presentation. im excited about that though

i do not need this graded competition due on the 15th june to cramp my style. especially when most of the work will inevitably get pushed to me

in other, more brighter news, putra, julie, nana, azlin and i are going along famously in preperation for class bonding. putra calls the makcik comel “jajastar. because her eyebrows are sharpied on. non the less, shes supplying food for our event

it will be a fun affair, not coming? youre missing out

caffiene addict

Starbucks Blueberries and Creme Frappuccino, want

i need like my fix of starbucks. caffiene, to be precise. i want the comforting feel that a venti green tea latte gives me

i dont know why im so tired nowadays. so tired the hell

and i want to complain. i feel grouchy

i want you to talk to me and make me smile! goddamnit the hell >:{

oh you know what? i cant even be bothered to start complaining

yes, finally an update

you know with all the projects assigned with some tight ass due date, me and azlin have been doing alot of this lately

Hey mods

People made me sick today (17 May 2010, monday). I am so friggin pissed. I mean seriously, how could you like not know what to do when I already located the jobs evenly

And I even told you guys` to text if you have a problem or something but nooooooooooooooooo, no one bloody did. I then assumed that errything is going fine

I woke up at friggin 3AM the hell just to collate errything the hell together

Yan Xun cant sing (english songs) to save his life. sorry bro, you know I love you. Not really, but you know what I mean. Heyyyy~

And ms becky was all up in our asses about the “class bonding shit today. All I can say is, the class is so far apart then “bonding the hell wont even work. We’re just too different to be one. I mean I think like we have to be mounted together with melted iron in order to like friggin bond

Seriously, I know my dear teacher (hi ms becky!) is trying to bring us together but, hate to say it, we’re a lost cause

but, it doesnt hurt to try

i get so friggin pissed easily nowadays. and im having trouble keeping my cool at bay. i get worked up over stupid things and its not fun at all

no, its not the time of the month again. assholes

and the class is supposed to go to some navy open house tomorrow. i so do not see the point of us going there. sure, youre doing this to skip entrepreneurship class but really? think of our sorry grades

tired and starving myself

hey mods

im like this concentrated energy thats so pressured in a confined space and now im breaking. like glass shattering all over

theres the entrepreneurship proposal, principles of marketing proposal and that design thing to be done by monday. i am freaking the hell out

no one’s replying to my texts except for hannah. and seriously now is not the time to give me bullshit reasons. i want the works by tomorrow. latest 3AM guys, im staying up for you guys

im sorry i shouldnt have said that. im just stressing out yaknawhamsayin’? oh and if youre at all offended by that then


im tired. theres P.E tomorrow, oh god. im tired, my eyes are swollen and my throat is sore

not a happy camper 😦 i need to listen to passion pit to make me smile

i hope i dont get that little nervous breakdown or anything. i have an image to mantain. i need to look like im in control with my emotions and thoughts errytime. every second of my life

fact#67 i am never totally in control with my emotions of thoughts half the time. im just faking it

anyways. im thinking of majoring in theater

i also want beancurd

Beancurd Pictures, Images and Photos


im hungry