Humdrum Guy

People(some) make me want to stay single for the rest of my life.

Its like I want to be in a serious, level-headed, normal relationship but damn, the people that are left, damn, I just suddenly lose all my pent up desire to be in relationship!

Like I envy those girls who are in a nice healthy comfortable relationship and Im waiting for my turn but I will not settle for any humdrum guy man. like

I am not going to settle for a broke ass scrub okay.

Some people (this bitch) has been going on about how I am too “picky” and that thats why im never in a relationship. But whats wrong in that? Im picky for the right reasons. All these things, are preferences. And these are good things to have!

I like a Family guy, I prefer them to be older than me, I like a guy who is guarded by his religion and humour is important to me.

That is not being picky. I think those are good expectations to have. Its reasonable.

Sure, there will be compromises to make but not when youre just willing to adapt and adapt and adapt and end up with a lowlife.

I used to think that maybe lowering down my standards is the solution, but NO. Its not. Why lower your standards? Like why do girls keep doing that? Do they think they’re not worth of the standards they put up for themselves? You’re willing to go low to hook up with a million times below average guy?

Chivalry is dead and guys now (at least the one that stumbles in my life) they’re just, I dont know how to put it, the level that they perform in has severely dropped, in my opinion anyway. I mean, its just hard to meet someone genuine and sincere nowadays.

Its not just guys, to be honest. Some girls, they’re just too easy. Why?

A relationship that starts fast, ends fast. I’ll leave you with that.

My growing feminism is showing.

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Gimme some lip, boy

Hello, gorgeous~

This post is dedicated to my one true love, makeup so if you’re not interested then, thanks for being one of my statistics and you can go click the “X” button of your many opened tabs aight.

And before I even get into it, let me just say, to all those trolls who think that make-up is for low self esteemed girls or fake chicks, why are you even here?

get the fuck out. Dont worry about me and what I put on my face kay!

So ladies, and Hafiiz, (lol), I need your help. Seriously. I have been sticking to nude lips for as long as I have been using lipsticks.

here, an example, dont mind my bucktooth and my face and my hair:

And, its time, I break up with my favourite lipstick shade of all time yall, of all time, the nudes.

You see I wanted to start on the baby pinks, but because Im a lady of colour, it looks bleh on me~ I have this (my first pink gloss ever) Sephora gloss in Cute Pink and well, its real cute but, no, it doesnt work for me you get what im sayin? its like a baby pink for babies~

So then I decided that maybe, I should start my Red Lip fever all over again. Like BAM! BAM! BAM! Bold~

Should I? Cause I dont know. Guess I just have to work it this Hari Raya yaknawhamsayin’? Im going for this look :

Like isnt that INTENSE? If Kelendria Rowland can pull that off so can I! (im talking about skin tones here, gurl, keep yo’ weave on kay)

So, whatdyouguys think? Try something new or stick to the old school?

Shout out to Hafiiz: Yesterday, boy, I dreamnt about you! I know! I dreamnt WE were running a wedding photo shoot! And we had the lights, camera, glitter and all that! Lol. Who run the world? US

A couple of things put together

I have finally realized what triggered my writers coma. Books. And my anti-social wall I have built around myself.

Last time the sunlight hit me? Man, AGES AGO. AGES. Like on Sunday man. SUNDAY. Its freaking TUESDAY now!

I have been reading and staying in my cave (room, it has everything so why go out right? and going through society and having to talk to people? psh, no) and god damnit I am STILL reading Stephen Kings Under The Dome. Im STILL only 3/4 way through the book. I pride myself for being a fast reader. But this book. This book just grounds me. I feel like I have dyslexia trying to read this book. Go try

Anyways, I guess not going out isnt such a bad thing. I mean, what the hell? I dont have to get my hurr did, dont need to put my face on and I can wear whatever the hell I want to. Sweet. Just me, my Starbucks Tumblr filled with tea and a book, in my room, away from society.

Oh man, talking about Starbucks, it has been a million years since I saw my best friend/ lesbo partner, Nurul. I planned to text her but you know, we just plan to text her but then got around to do other stuff, yeah, well I didnt :\ But she did! She texted me and boy it was great to hear from her. I think we’re gonna watch HPDH2 at Cathay on a weekday cause its only $6

Cant wait.

Killing short lived friendships

Im listening to some Kings of Convenience and the songs just puts me in a pondering sort of mood.

A situation I just encountered triggered me to write this post. And its about making new friends, forging a relationship with complete strangers.

And Im not very good at that.

I wish I could just chill and be fluid with these things. But Im not. I kill alot of short lived friendships and I dont know whats wrong with me. I kill them because they just dont think the way I do. Thats a problem for me. I stand my ground on what I believe in, and thats not always good.

I also have these stupid fucking walls around me up every single second of my life. I just shut people off. Its annoying. Its annoying damnit. And I dont know how to change.

Sometimes I just want to cry about it. But then I drop it and move along.

get a job will ya?

So I got about 6 month to the October intake and my mom told me to get a job. Guuuuuurl I tell you I was like

Did she just say the J word? Oh good lawd, no! I am not ready to step into the working world god nooooooo~ Yeah, I know, I know, grow some balls right?

So I decided that maybe, maybe it could work you know, get a part time job, get some cash, spend some cash. So I then I started the thinking process.

  1. Transportation = Adult Fare
  2. I want nothing to do with Cashiering
  3. Or Waiting tables

So then you know what came up in my brilliant mind? Yishun Library. Yeah you heard/saw what I typed. Maybe I should work at the Yishun Library. Air conditioned, its at Northpoint which is like a few blocks away and I mean, PSHHHH its the Library! What kind of nonsense can happen there like PSHHHH. Plus like I like books you know.

You know, boy, I could be your personal Librarian

I SWEAR it sounded waaaaaay sexier in my head 😉

Where you working at? Gurll the Library, you know gettin some knowledge while working like guuuurl. And if Im lucky there’ll be that cute nerd guy I can see.

Sidenote, cute guy in the library will never happen because you know, cute guys dont go to library no more.

Also Im thinking of The Body Shop at Sembawang Shopping Center. Like I’ll be surrounded by MAKEUP! I’ll be so goddamn happy! and plus its like deserted there. Like who the hell goes to SSC to go to Body Shop you know? Like easy. Although the downside is that I’ll probably have to do some cashiering. Which I will freak about like I’ll suddenly paralyze with fear when processing the customers order or something.

JOB HUNT MPOOOOOOW!

UP or down

All the hardwork for nothing! In the waiting for too long and it is driving me nuts! You know what I already have come to a conclusion that I will never get to set foot in a Polytechnic in 2011 so Im ruling out all other options I can get my hands on.

  • Nitec in Nursing, College EAST

I just want to say that I CLEARLY KNOW that this is a DOWNGRADE from what Im holding (HNitec in Events Management). But Nursing provides a STABLE JOB with STEADY INCOME and BONUSES.

However being a Nurse would mean ever changing work schedule.

AND I would be 20 if I decided to enroll next year, January. 20. And my younger cousins are all going into their 1st- 2nd year Polytechnic.

PEOPLE WILL TALK. People already talked when I entered ITE. Now? Theyre gonna YELL about it, man, forget talking, they gon YELL about it.

I guess I’ll just have to have the mindset like

  • (Private Dip) MDIS Diploma in Psychology /Marketing

That will never happen. NEVER. Even if I worked my ass off to pay off all those money that is just IMPOSSIBLE because my parents will MURDER ME if they find out I want to give a shot at this.

Damnit this is no joke man.

  • WORK

Full Time at 19. Mediocre living. And just to put it out there, IM NOT READY TO WORK FULLTIMEEEE. You guys get it? I dont want to work full time at 19.

Im scared shitless of what is out there, damnit.

What organisation wants a worker with an ITE cert? They look at Diplomas. Where does that lead me? Waitressing at Swensens?

DAYMN

update; Moshein said there’s an October intake. Consider? but like wtf i didnt get in now why the hell would i get it later?

i dont know if i’ll make it, but watch how good i fake it

 

ugh im like waiting for the acceptance of my appeal to Temasek and Nanyang Polytechnic after Republic kicked my ass out of its doorstep. waiting is not easy im telling you this. if i could go on bawling untill i get it, i would

baobei and cm got rejected and i still havent got any sort of reply from TP

is it possible to forget how to blog?

after finals it was all easy breezy. got my results for finals and it was still breezy, i did aight. distinction, B, B. pretty swell eh? i was so sure id get my well deserved slot

until the next day when i found out i didnt score any slots at any polytechnic. yeah, i was depressed and smoking so much red charlie sheen would say im winning

so i ran my ass to Republic on the same day to quickly appeal, dragging the classmates whos in the same boat with me. so then day after day was just running to every polytechnic in Singapore except Ngee An and Singapore Poly to beg to get a slot.

thing that gets me is that i did well. i did good man i jumped a 0.6GPA for finals. and the thing that pisses me the frig off was that people with a lower GPA compared to me, GOT A DAMN PLACE IN POLY. LIKE WHERE THE FUCK IS THE LOGIC?!?! even with all the events backing my ass up I STILL lost to someone WITH A LOWER GPA WITH NO GOOD TESTIMONIAL WHATSOEVER like bish what the fuck? like what the fuckery is this cause this is not funny the frig.

while i was rambling my ass off, pissed at this stupendous factoid, my mom says “dah rezeki deorang, sbab tu dorang dapat. rezeki aisyah belom kesampaian” which to me just translates to “kau memang suay ah”

its like i worked hard for this man. i worked hard for finals. and i see the improvements , i see the jump! but

and then Republic Polytechnic rejected me. I read the email at about 11PM and CRIED MY ASS OUT IN THE DARK LISTENING TO IN THE END- Linkin Park. i had like a nervous breakdown man, that night. im telling you i was thinking suicide, i was acting crazy. its like i cannot stop crying and my hands were shaking so i did what i do best. light it up outside you know, calm my tits down

my friends were all telling me to not give up but i was all “leave me to dieeeeee” i think they got kinda annoyed. sorry guys my mind was just fucked up

and now im still in the waiting game