So what do call it? Pre- Internship?

i have not been updating because i had a JOB. Whoot whoot say whuddd~ Well a 4day kind of pre internship you can say? at the Singapore Expo

now now now, i shall break it to you in days okay homies?

day 1; First day

Me and Julie, nervous as a flock of goats on a truck to a slaughter house. im telling you, the nervousness was enough to make my head spin like im on a vortex ride or something mang

was supposed to be at the foyer 1 but waited at foyer 2 because the signage at expo was just…bad (put that in your visitor satisfaction survey, ian) so then me and julie, and a shah and ary (the other 2 pre interns)
went all the way in our heels to the other end and into the conference room

mang, in the conference room, I WAS ALREADY SHITTING IN MY PANTS (in my head, that is) Mr Ian was so intimidating, grilling us about our resume and shit. turns out he’s kind of alright. and then this other dude came in, the Intern Khai. I’ll call him Intern Khai. Now this dude walks in and im like “Whoa, Armani Exchange belt, this dude the rich prick kind?” but then he turned out okay so it was cool

so whatever about the first half, 2nd half, we had to do freaking surveys. VISITOR SATISFACTION SURVEYS. I have never been REJECTED that much in my life, in 1 day. i hate surveys

then concierge was pretty easy, same old questions same old answers and then we got to hit the hay and get our asses home

Day 2; Misery starts today

So me and Julie basically got the afternoon shift, 2PM-11PM and we werent so thrilled. did some surveys for ian and julie was all cranky because she was in heels and shit and the customers were just assholes who wouldnt help us hit the number (100 surveys per day)

Met this guy named Yoga and apparently he works for a Church or something. then theres this other guy, Khader, bald ass funny guy around his 30s, man he funny. a little perverted, but still, very funny

and then theres this Syed guy, also very funny. gave us a buggy ride to the MRT station– which was nice since we dont have to fucking walk all the way

Day 3; 1 shift, 3 breaks

Thats what Intern Khai thought us. 1 shift, 3 breaks

Standing at the concierge answering the same questions. stupid questions like “Where is the Expo?” when he’s already at the expo. SERIOUSLY MANG, SERIOUSLY?

Visitor: Vher is Expo? (thick indian slang)
Me: (In my head) Expo is in the AMBULANCE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHITCAKE

And then when too many people asked for specific booth locations, Intern Khai taught us this trick

Visitor: Vher is the Canon booth?
Intern Khai: In hall 6, 5, or 4B
Visitor: Sitex fair i know, but Canon booth?
Intern Khai: (fake smile) In hall 6, 5, or 4 B (BIGGER FAKE SMILE)

HAHAHA. that saved julie and my ass from visitors who are just too lazy to look for the booths themselves. buggy ride home and we went home with Intern Khai for the day

oh and theres this MILLIONARE MIND INTENSIVE seminar that was going on. i heard people pay $3000 to take part in. SERIOUSLY?!?! mang, stupid mang, just stupid

Day 4; Last day, final goodbye

Last day was pretty intensive, for me anyways, Julie was sent off to the office, 3pm- 9pm doing paperwork and im stationed at the concierge with stupid people ruining my sunday. pretty boring but fluid day

yada yada ya ya papaya and then it was the end of the day. man. the end of the day.

we got to see the ‘secret route’ for the workers to go through for the smoking breaks. i swear i wanted whip out my marl ice sticks but decided it wouldnt be a good idea since im just some part timer

posted some stupid little childish messages on the desktops of workers we worked with throughout the 4 days;

Intern Khai
Pakcik Abang Kader tersayangs~ whos bald and had pregnancy brochures all up on his work space
Uncle Ramli
Auntie Alice

NOW AUNTIE ALICE IS MY FAVOURITE ONE OKAY. her work cubicle has like soo many oriental shit it almost looks like a goddamn temple. I AM IN LOVE WITH HER BUDDHA POSTER I TELL YOU. and she has this container filled with, get this, orange peels, water, fermented water, soggy bread and what shit. Intern Khai, Julie and I laughed our crack asses out only on that man!

and then theres

Syed, whos cubicle had a bunch of fish food all up in it, even though there wasnt any FISH IN THE OFFICE. im wondering if he actually eats the fish food like coffee beans or something

Kak Aisyah, who has the same name as i do. she brought water for me all the way from concierge 1 to concierge 2 in a buggy. thanks man

took some pictures before we left and then well, i’ll post them up here once julie post them up on FB

man im going to miss that bunch of people :’)

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