Hey gang! This post is going to be long, I’ m warning you.

So yesterday I met Nurul and we headed to the mall to do my eyebrows, again. I was wearing my high school Tshirt and this black pants.

I think maybe the shirt’ s magic or something. I saw, Rahmat, who I could live without remembering. We saw Danial, who also said hello to us. We saw Suhaimi, who apparently is in the army now. He too, said hi. We saw Eunos, who was riding on his bike, obviously trying to attract attention. We saw Chong You, who amazingly became so fit he looked like he’ s been lifting weights since elementary school. See, I told you the Tshirt’ s magic.

Well, being a doll that I am, I decided to come back to the school to check out my CCA’ s, Saint John’ s Ambulance Brigade, progress. No one told me it was speech day training.

I was talking to Samuel about the plans for the say when he spinned me around like some ballerina when I saw Hafiz, the guy I have been crushing on for 4 years, 5 even. I was floored I tell you. I was like ” Omg isnt that? Yes it is. Omg! *faints”

Sure enough those memories, old feelings came rushing back, hitting me across the face like a mother fucking wave. I got all emo and sappy. The feeling was alien. I guess it’ s due to me, bottling up my feelings, thoughts, Him, and put it so far in my brain since he graduated last 2 years. Well, feelings came back, they shouldnt, but they did. All because I saw him yesterday.

I never knew what I saw in him. Seriously. I never saw what he had that other boys dont have. The only think I think that attracts me to him is because he’ s tall and broad (and the fact that I think we look good together if something, anything happens) Oh dont lie, disagreeing with me.  We look good together, that’ s it. Kinda got me all teary eyed and it dampened my mood actually- what? sometimes I get emotional/ overwhelmed.

Never understood how I continued liking him. I mean, what can I say? Loyal person talking. I had never initiated a coversation with him, not even once. Wasted if I do day so myself.

So then he left for home and I thought you know, maybe I could snap my fingers and all this feelings will go back in the bottle and will be chucked deep in my brain and dissolve in thin air. Well, it didnt. I was distracted, constantly thinking about him so much that it made me sick in the stomach.

Never knew what he thought of me. Never wanted to know. In case the bubblewrap failed on my heart/ brain.

That night I kept playing songs that reminds me of him. I couldnt help myself.

Songs like Happy Together- Simple Plan made me laugh about what could had happen. It was replaying in my head with the lyrics “Imagine me and you, you and me. No matter how we toss the dice, it’ s meant to be”

Or I can wait forever- Simple plan with the lyrics ” Another day without you with me, it’ s like a blade that cuts right through me.”

Or the song Falling in love- McFly ” I could have fallen in love, we could have fallen in love.”

Yeah they remind me of the chances I had but never took. Oh wells, that’ s that and I can do nothing about it now. Sad, but I have to live with it everyday 😦

Thanks for reading.

P. S

So boys and girls, “There’ s no chance unless you take one”. If you like someone, pursue him/ her. Life wont wait, its up to you. You could embrace what it could be, or watch it slip like the sand in my hands.

Oh god I swear Im not emo.


One Response to crushcrushcrush

  1. AAdyla says:

    lOl hafiz…haha…that paragraph abt him just reminds me of the time when i had a crush(weird i could like hakim…haha)
    …haha…omg cant stop laughin…haha:)

    anw that time i saw him(Hakim) workin at KFC near ur house…lOl

    well pls dont laugh at this comment…haha

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